Last week, I shared the first guiding principle for our club code of conduct, Fixing Our Feminist Gaze on Flourishing. This week, I'm sharing our second guiding principle, Leading with Friendliness.

THE FUNCTION OF FRIENDLINESS

In any diverse community, the question of how to create emotional safety for all members is a challenge. Some have wondered if the premise of "safe space" is fundamentally flawed, given that some level of interpersonal harm is inevitable, due to our inherited and internalized supremacist belief systems.

Friendliness offers us a way of increasing the experience of safety for ourselves and others in a community space.

In Timothy Snyders's short instructional book, On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century, one of his recommendations is: Make Eye Contact and Small Talk. He explains, "This is not just polite. It is part of being a citizen and a responsible member of society. It is also a way to stay in touch with your surroundings, break down social barriers, and understand whom you should and should not trust."1

Being friendly and curious helps us learn about each other. The more we chat with someone in a kind and friendly manner, the more they will open up and share their values and beliefs. This information enables us to make smart choices about our own internal boundaries in our interactions.